"From the Other Side of the Bed"
When I was first diagnosed four years ago, a young clergy friend, a camper years ago in a camp I was the dean of, stopped to see me. One of the things she said to me was, "Write! "
I said, "About what?"
She began to talk about such things as my upcoming health journey and what it's like from the other side of the bed. Hmmm... I'm not sure how many of the things I've posted on my blog have done that, but I had something happen to me a few weeks ago leading up to Christmas that certainly caused me to think about that theme and that perspective of the circumstance.
A couple from the church brought dinner to us and stayed to enjoy it with us. Part way through the meal they informed us that some others from the church were coming after the meal to carol to us.
I must admit that I zoned out a bit after that (sorry, Bob and Jeanne!) My thoughts turned to remembering the years of caroling with high school friends, YF groups, other church groups; sometimes just down the street , sometimes door-to-door, but most of the time it was to the homes of the shut-ins, the homebounds.
The carolers arrived and soon the rooms of our home were full of the familiar and favorite carols. Oh, how I appreciated the faces and lives and voices of those who shared with us their love and spirit that night.
But sometime during their sharing I became aware of a mixture of emotions vieing for space in my heart, head, and tears. Yes, my wonderful church friends were there because they cared, but I was both full of joy and in pain because I was the one being sung to, the one in need - of being comforted, of being refueled with the hope of the season, of being the recipient of the caring of a community of faith.
Now, fellow clergy, carolers, friends, please do not hear this as a concern about the appropriateness of caroling to people in need or alone. This is simply a commentary about the variety of emotions present when we attempt to minister to one another.
(Now, I probably would write more if it weren't for the fact that I have just successfully written my first blog post with my eyegaze machine, mostly with my eyes, and my eyes are tired!)
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ReplyDeleteVery interesting insight to share with all of us. No, it shouldn't stop anyone from ministering to those we care about but it is important that those of us ministering understand the feelings of the person we are ministering to. One day two weeks ago I was visiting with our mother and she began crying as I was leaving. I hugged her and asked her what was bothering her. She informed me that people from the community of Ottawa had been there caroling to her the prior evening and she was very upset about being on the receiving end of the caroling. She remembers all the years that she was able to go caroling to others and ministering in other ways and how good it felt to do that but she said she never realized that those being ministered to could be having mixed feelings about it. She was very sad to be the one receiving. I will be sharing your blog with her. With love, your sister, Phyllis
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for sharing your mixed feelings. It is so important to realize how many feelings come about when we are the ones in need being ministered too. Anger, joy, love, sadness all go hand in hand.
ReplyDeleteI do have to also admit the techie side of me is fascinated that you wrote it solely by eye gaze. Here I have mixed emotion: I think it's cool that you can do it but so sad that your disease has made it necessary to use it.
Love you , Jennie Dedmon